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I always find it easy to start new habits but what I find difficult is trying not to fall back into old habits. Life happens, things get in the way and situations can knock us off track.
In my first 2 months of my self-worth journey I had 2 curve balls that affected my progress, coming off my antidepressants and getting back with my partner.
The first one is kinda obvious why it upset my new lifestyle, not only do you get mental withdrawals but also physical ones too.
The second one, however, was a good thing, an amazing thing really, so why did it upset my new way of living?
Well it came down to this, being back with my partner meant it was so easy to fall back into old habits. He was the main person I used to look to for my self-worth; I relied on him to make me feel better, so it was easy for me to start looking to him for my happiness again.
This didn’t feel right and luckily because of my awareness of my old habits I was able to start working on this.
If you want to change your world, you need to start cultivating good habits.
So what have I done to make sure I don’t fall back into old habits?
When I came off my antidepressants (always do this under doctor’s supervision!!) I had to up my self-care and be super gentle on myself.
There are so many things that can slow us down, such as illness and depression and this felt like I was being hit by both. I had to keep reminding myself every time I felt down for no reason that my mind was getting used to not being on my medication and it wouldn’t last forever.
I wised up!!
I read everything I could about the withdrawal symptoms so I knew what to expect. This stopped me from diving deep into depression and thinking I would never be happy!!
Having the awareness of what was happening to me meant I could be kinder to myself, give myself the time to heal and slow down because that’s what I needed.
Because I was suffering from both mental and physical symptoms I made sure I was taking care of myself. I rested when I needed, I eat more fruit and veg and I exercised when I felt up to it. I listened to my body more, slept when I was tired and gave myself permission to chill on the sofa and just watch TV.
I’d say I’m still getting used to not taking them however I think I’m over the worst!
The key is: LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!
Getting back with my ex!
Sometimes good things can also knock you for 6 and getting back with my partner sure did that!!
I didn’t think this would happen as a result, it was a shock when it did. The problem was I
I hadn’t figured out how to find my self-worth while being in a relationship and I soon noticed those old insecurities creeping back.
I wanted this to be a happy time, I time filled with joy, not one shadowed by my worry and anxiety.
I spoke to my partner about this and we decided to take things slowly, giving ourselves the time and space to adjust.
So when I feel like I’m waiting for validation from him I would look within. How can I give myself that validation? How can I make myself feel better?
This is a slow process, it’s easy to stay Zen-like when we are on our own but when we have other people around it can get complicated. Even when we love these people they still bring us challenges, that’s what life is for.
So how can I keep my new self-worth that I’ve found, still be in a relationship and not fall back into old habits?
The first thing I did was assess where I was at.
- What old habits did I not want to fall back into?
- What situations pushed me to fall back into old habits?
- What new healthy habits do I want in my life?
- How can I make these happen?
- What can I do to make sure I stay on track?
Answering these questions helped me see where I was at and make a plan to get back on track. The good thing is that with awareness you can quickly start going in the right direction again!
Above all, you have had these old habits for a lifetime, they are gonna want to hang around!!
Old habits die hard
Life will always throw curveballs our way, it will never look perfect but this doesn’t mean that you are not making progress. If you fall back into old habits for a few days it’s no biggy, just pick yourself up and get back on track.
In conclusion, don’t beat yourself up, without these blips we would never learn!