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Isn’t self-love and self-concept (SC) the same thing??
The simple answer is NO!! They are completely different things.
Self-love has become a popular topic over the last few years with many people advocating it to be the thing that heals your life and helps you get your desires.
But it’s not really the case.
We have heard it all before, you have to love yourself first before anyone can love you. And while that is partly true, if you don’t change your self-concept, nothing will change in your life.
You see it’s not enough to just love yourself, you have to believe others love you. You have to change your old story of what you are trying to manifest to get what you want.
So What is Self-Concept?
Self-concept is all your beliefs about yourself, it’s how you see yourself in relation to the thing you are trying to manifest. We have a self-concept for all the different areas in our lives, such as relationships, friendships, careers, money, family, etc.
Your self-concept is how you assume the world around you will be. For example, if you have abandonment wounds, you might believe everyone will leave you.
Or if you believe your friends never support you, that is what will show up in your life.
Feeling not loved, wanted, or chosen is the main belief that comes up for most people.
So it really doesn’t matter how much you love yourself, if you don’t work on your self-concept, people in your life will still conform to these beliefs.
Self-concept is mainly formed in childhood. What happens to us as a child helps us shape the perception that we have for ourselves and how others treat us.
Just say you were bullied by other girls in school, you might struggle to have healthy relationships with other women, you might feel like you are always in competition or that other women don’t have your back.
Or let’s say you are trying to lose weight but you have always had a belief that you have a slow metabolism, you will always find it hard to lose the weight until you change your self-concept around this.
It’s literally as simple as whatever you believe will come true!!
How to Change Your Self-Concept
In order to change your self-concept, you first need to know who you want to be and how you want to be treated in the world. Basically, what do you want your reality to look like?
There are a few ways you can do this, you can either look at the past to find the beliefs you have been holding and flip them around or you can simply think of the version of yourself that you want to be.
Another way to find out what your current self-concept is is to use your triggers as a guide.
Do you get triggered if you don’t get a reply from someone or you’re not invited to a party? Then you have a self-concept that you’re not chosen, loved, or wanted.
So you need to rewrite the story and create a new one that you want to live in.
And then you simply live in the wish fulfilled.
You can do this by affirming the new story and visualizing yourself as this new version.
However, it’s not enough to just say your affirmations once, you need to be consistent and persist until they become your dominant thoughts and your beliefs.
Every time the old thoughts and stories come back, just keep affirming the new version until you have completely embodied it.
“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”Neville Goddard
Some of my Favorite SC Affirmations
- I am the operant power of my life
- I’m always loved, wanted and chosen. I’m so deeply loved by all
- I always get what I want
- I am a queen and I’m treated like a queen
- My life is filled with so much abundance and love
- I am the women that has it all
- It’s so easy to love me
- I have always been good enough. I am a priority
Can you see how different this feels from just loving yourself?
The good thing is you don’t have to believe your new affirmations at first, keep persisting until you do.
Let me know in the comments what your new self-concept will be and the affirmations you have created for this.