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I never thought it was possible to heal from my childhood trauma…..
However, I’m writing this filled with gratitude. Gratitude that I was able to heal and get to the place I am today. Gratitude for the women I’ve become. Gratitude for the journey I’ve been on.
Nearly 4 years ago I felt so hopeless. I had been diagnosed with complex PTDS and the more I read about it, the worse I felt.
I started to believe this was who I am, I would be this way for the rest of my life. There were so many stories around, saying you can’t heal from this, it’s permanent damage.
Looking back, I see the power of my belief system. I believed it for a long time.
In fact, for 2 years I didn’t really heal, I actually got worse because I believed I was incurable.
I told myself that the world would have to adapt to me and my triggers because I will always be this way.
Which was so unfair on the people closest to me.
If you haven’t experienced complex PTSD, it could be hard to imagine what it’s like. But you are in a constant state of fight or flight and my go-to was to fight.
I felt scared when I was triggered like someone was holding a gun to my head. The panic felt real and I would project this on the ones closest to me.
I couldn’t regulate my feeling, I reacted badly to people and I found it hard to love. I pushed them away.
Now I rarely get triggered and when I do I know how to handle it. I can recognise my feelings and work through them.
I take full responsibility for my feelings and know if I feel triggered, it’s because there is something from my childhood left to heal.
This is powerful stuff because when you take full responsibility for your life and how you feel, you have full power to make the changes.
I’m a big believer that we all have unresolved trauma. I think it is responsible for most problems in peoples lives.
Not only do we have our own trauma to work through but we have generations of trauma. The trauma your parents and grandparent went through is actually passed down to you (an amazing book about this is, It Didn’t Start With You)
For 15 years I have tried to heal myself, unfortunately, I was using the wrong tools. Positivity is amazing and I love doing mindset work but if you don’t heal, it won’t work!!
So how did I get here??
Healing Childhood Trauma with Therapy
If you think you have PTSD or trauma that you need to heal, please go see a doctor first. If you need to get medication, then do it! There is no shame in that, I was on antidepressants for 2 years.
I’ve now been off them for a year but I couldn’t have done that without therapy.
I’ve had therapy and now I’m getting counselling. Both are amazing!!
It’s important to get a good counsellor that you have a good connection with. My counsellor is amazing and she also knows her stuff about domestic abuse.
If you have suffered in any way from domestic abuse it is vital that you learn about it.
The Freedom Programme is amazing and helps you understand why people are abusive and it’s not your fault.
Especially if it’s childhood abuse.
As children, we tend to blame ourselves for everything and that certainly was my pattern. It wasn’t until I had learned why my dad was abusive and how this had affected me in my relationships that I could start to heal that.
We don’t need to do this journey on our own, so if you’re struggling. Please get the help you deserve.
Healing Childhood Trauma with EFT
This is my favourite self-help tool of all time. I use EFT on everything!! If you have never used EFT before, it’s basically tapping on different points on your face and body.
There are certain meridian points and by tapping on them you are clearing any stuck energy in your body. It also helps calm down your amygdala, which is responsible for the fight or flight response, so it’s a perfect tool to use when you get triggered.
If you know me, you know I love Brad Yates, so if you’re new to tapping I would highly recommend his videos.
If you know how to use tapping, I would recommend just tapping on the points when you feel triggered or anxious. You don’t have to say anything, just keep tapping!!
Something I’ve been doing recently is writing all my memories from my childhood and tapping on each one.
Once again, please only do this if you feel safe and have the right support.
Going back into your childhood can retrigger you, so working with a practitioner or therapist would be the safest way to do this or if you are further along in your healing journey like I am.
If you do feel triggered while tapping, just keep going. Sometimes you feel worse first because everything comes to the surface. If you keep tapping this will calm down and you will eventually feel better.
Healing Childhood Trauma with Forgiveness
Another amazing tool here. Forgiveness is hands down the best tool to create change.
Forgiveness opens your heart to let love in.
The more I forgive, the more amazing my life is.
I practice forgiveness every night. If you’re not sure how to forgive, you can check out my post HERE (with a free worksheet too)
You can simply say, “I forgive you”. It’s really the intention around it that matters. I would start with the easy stuff and build up to the things you find hard to forgive.
Once you make it a regular practice it does become easy.
I also forgive in the moment. Like if someone triggers me or annoys me, I say to myself “I forgive you, I’m sorry, Thank you, I love you” or just “I forgive you”
This is where deep healing starts. If you can forgive the people who hurt you, you will feel free, increase your self-worth and your energy will change.
Please do not think that forgiveness means the other person was justified to hurt you. It never means that!!
Forgiveness is for you and only you!!
You don’t even have to tell the other person you forgive them and you don’t have to let someone continue to treat you badly because you have forgiven them.
Healing Childhood Trauma by Connecting to Your Body
Childhood trauma causes psychological injuries which can cause symptoms such as nightmares, anxiety and shame. However, trauma is also felt in the body and you can experience psychosomatic symptoms.
This can be increased heart rate, muscle pain, fatigue, tremors and dizziness. My muscles would tense up when I was triggered and I would shake a lot.
This could happen to me when there was no reason to feel anxious like if I was talking to a friend and something came up that triggered me.
It was quite tiring!!
Understanding that our minds and bodies are connected really helped with my healing journey!
Doing things that help you connect to your body is vital to healing from childhood trauma!!
Some of the things that helped me are:
- Breathing exercises
- Body scan meditation
Healing Trauma by Creating Stillness
This is something I’ve been doing a lot more recently. Going within and creating stillness.
With PTSD, your mind is always racing, your living in chaos, so quieting the mind is crucial to helping you heal.
I do this by meditation and journaling.
Anything that helps you get your racing thoughts out of your head will help.
For me, writing is so so powerful. I love writing and it has been a big part of my healing.
Not only do I write this blog, but I also journal my thoughts and write letters to the people who hurt me (and also the people I hurt!!)
Writing letters can help you feel heard, get your feelings out and you don’t even have to send them.
This helps if the people who hurt you are no longer in your life. You can simply burn them afterwards and let it all go!!
Journaling and meditation are great to do together. You can meditate on journaling questions or you can journal after you have done meditation.
These practices are perfect from going within and helping you trust yourself again. Teaching you how to listen to your feelings and intuition.
Trusting yourself is one of the fundamental pillars of self-worth.
People who have experienced childhood trauma tend to find it hard to trust and believe in themselves.
They believe other people over their own feelings, even if those people are toxic.
There are so many other things I do to help me heal but these are the ones that made the biggest impact. Remember, if you are struggling, please seek help!!
You don’t have to do this alone.
I believe in you!
You can heal!
Things can change for the better!