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Do you want to stop comparing yourself to others?
Is comparing yourself to others getting you down?
We are all guilty of it, whether it’s on social media, with our friends or at work. We are all comparing ourselves to others. Sometimes no matter how well we do, we seem to come across someone who’s done it better or who’s more successful than us.
It’s even harder now, with everyone’s life looking so perfect on Instagram or Facebook, we hardly ever see any of the struggle or what people’s real lives look like.
It’s so easy to feel not good enough!! And even though we know it doesn’t make us feel good, it’s hard to know how to stop.
Why You are Comparing Yourself to Others?
It’s completely natural to compare ourselves to others, it’s when we are doing it from a detrimental place that’s worrying.
When you are doing it to put yourself down, or judge yourself, you need to work on this. This will strip away your self-worth and self-esteem.
A small amount of comparison isn’t anything to worry about, it’s how brains are wired but if you find yourself doing it often, try the steps below.
You may also be comparing yourself to others if you already have low self-worth, as a way to be hard on yourself.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
First of all, we need to understand that comparing ourselves to others is a complete waste of time and energy. We all want different things in life, we all have different values and comparing can make you lose sight of what’s important to you.
When we are so caught up in the comparison trap, we don’t see achievements; we don’t celebrate how great we are. Because we will never feel like we come close to everyone else’s perfect lives.
We can also start to resent the people we love and find it hard to be happy for them
So firstly, start to notice when you compare yourself to others. Is it at work, on social media, with your friends?
Start to become aware of the things you say to yourself when you’re comparing yourself also.
Ask Yourself “is this real?”
When you notice yourself starting to compare, ask yourself “is this real?” Is this a true reflection of this person’s life or is it set up to look more than it is. Also, these images are just fragments, they don’t reflect someone’s whole life.
Remind yourself that you are on your own journey, your own timeline. That you never truly know what someone else’s life is like.
Most of social media isn’t a full picture of people’s lives. A lot is hidden, so it can be easy for others to make it look like their life is perfect.
Work on Your Triggers
Once you become aware of the thoughts you have when you are comparing yourself, you can start to work on these.
Work on reframing these beliefs.
If it’s that you don’t feel good enough, question this. Start finding ways to prove you are good enough.
You can use journaling to help you work on these triggers.
If you want some FREE journaling prompts to get you started, sign up below for my 28 Day Self-Love Journaling Challenge.
Limit Your Time on Social Media
Social media is one of the biggest reasons we compare ourselves to others more. If this is one of your triggers, start to limit the amount of time you spend on them.
Only follow accounts that make you feel good. Unfollow anyone that triggers you.
When you start to feel like you are feeling low being on social media, have a break. Then do something that makes you feel good instead.
Work on Your Self-Concept
Your self-concept is how you see yourself in the world. It’s also how you think other people see you.
Work on strengthening your beliefs around who you are as a person and how people treat you.
You can do this with affirmations.
Write out some core affirmations you want to work on, such as “I am successful” and repeat them daily.
You can read more about self-concept in my blog post here: Self-Concept & Why it’s Different from Self-love
Start Practising Gratitude
Gratitude is a great way for you to see all the good things in your life. The more grateful you are, the more you love your life.
And the more you love your life, the less you focus on others.
That’s because you are so busy feeling fulfilled and enjoying life.
You can start by writing 3 things that you are grateful for down every day. Even if you have to start small.
The more you practise this, the more things you will find to be grateful for.
Focus on Your strengths
If you start to focus on your strengths, you will find that you compare yourself to others less. Write a list of everything you are good at and read it every day.
Keep adding to the list, as you learn new things.
And if there are things you want to be good at, start looking into how you can become better at these things.
Therefore, building up your self-confidence and esteem.
Celebrate Everyone, Including Yourself
Another great way to stop comparing yourself, is by celebrating everyone, including yourself.
Instead of thinking, I wish I was like her or I wish I was as successful as them, start celebrating them.
Notice the reason you feel envious in the first place is because they have something you want. Which means you can create that too.
If they have a car or a house you want, make note and start working towards your dreams.
Know it’s only in your awareness because it’s a desire you have, a desire you can have too.
So celebrate them for showing you what you want. And celebrate yourself for how far you have come and for getting clarity on what you want.
Start to celebrate yourself for every little thing in your life too.
Build yourself up, so you feel worthy, you feel good enough and the need to compare will soon reduce.
Only Compare Yourself to Yourself
Another way to escape is to compare yourself to yourself!!
I know this sounds weird but look back at where you were a few years ago, how far have you come?
What have you achieved?
You could make this a monthly or yearly process, where you write down where you are at and compare it to where you were previously.
Even think of where you want to be in the future, say a year from now. Compare that to where you are now and figure out what are the gaps?
Use this to help you set goals and action plans to get to where you want to be.
It’s a much more accurate, fairer and productive way to compare.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
We have talked about how it’s natural to compare yourself to others but it’s worth working on if it’s affecting your self-worth.
You can do this by questioning whether what you see on social media is real, working on your triggers, limit your time on social media, focus on yourself by improving your self-concept, being grateful, focusing on your strengths and comparing yourself to yourself. You can also start celebrating everyone, including yourself!
Hopefully these tips will help you stop comparing yourself and start building yourself worth up.
Share in the comments below about your journey with this and if you love this post, please show your love by sharing it. ❤️
Hi, I’m Laura, I’m a blogger and coach. I help women up level their self-worth, reprogram their minds and manifest their desires using The Law of Assumption!
Come join me in the Facebook Group, Manifest with Female Worth