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Do You Really Have To Love Yourself First?

love yourself first
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
As you sit there reading this post, you may start to feel instantly relieved.

I’m sure you have heard it a million times, “you need to fully love yourself first before you can find love”.

Talk about pressure and fear of being left on the shelf!!

OK, so I call utter BS!!!

Shall I tell you why??

I found the love of my life at a time when I did not love myself, not one little bit. Yes I was a bit happy but deep down I felt I hated who I was and had really bad depression.

I had been single for 2 years after a bad break up and was not in a great place. I had heard so many times that I needed to love myself before I could find love but I didn’t even know if that was possible!!

That was until I found my partner and he helped me realise I didn’t need to change to find love.

Fast forward 5 years, a tough journey to say the least and I’m finally starting to truly love the person I am.

If I had never found love first, I wouldn’t even begin to see my own beauty, the beauty my partner tells me about every day.

He sees the true me and over the years has helped me see that too.

He has helped me see that I am a good person, I deserve to be happy and I see how much he loves me, for who I truly am.


Knowing that someone loves me, flaws and all, has helped me heal from my self-hatred.

Are you beginning to see that true love has the ability to create miracles?

I know that sounds cheesy but I have to say it because 5 years ago I could not even understand why I had been born. I hated myself so much that I thought I didn’t deserve to be on the planet.

How shit is that!!!!

It’s not been easy, the old me had tried to push him away so many times. I’ve tried to run away and self-sabotage to protect myself be. Thinking that surly one day this super perfect man will realise I’m not this amazing human he thinks I am.

Well it didn’t work (as we are still very much in love).

In the end I just slowly realised his love is true and I’m not going to push him away, so I may as well stop trying.

That’s when the magic happened! I started to believe the compliments and really see myself through his eyes.

I started to see my own value and worth. We all have our great qualities and being able to see them makes your life so much happier.

It also makes you brave.

Brave enough to do the things you have always wanted to do because you know you deserve it.

Don’t worry if you’re feeling shit because so many people keep telling you that you’re on your own because you don’t “love yourself” enough (whatever that even means!!).

Just believe that when the time is right you will find your Mr Right.

And quit trying to be perfect because you think that might help, it doesn’t.

Imagine how magical it would feel to fall in love with someone who loves you for who you truly are and you don’t have to keep pretending to be someone else!



Big love



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