I’ve never felt as guilty as I have being a mom. I got mom guilt pretty bad when I had my second child last year.
Motherhood is filled with so many challenges and curveballs, so it’s easy to fall into the guilt trap when things go wrong.
Even when we are doing the most amazing job, we can still feel guilty if we are doing things different from other moms.
It may feel like every decision we make or action we take will affect our children for the rest of their lives but this isn’t necessarily true.
As long as we are doing our best and our children know that they are loved, we don’t need to worry so much about the other stuff. Just trust your instinct and know you’re doing a great job.
What Is Mom Guilt?
Mom guilt is a feeling that we aren’t good enough, we all wants to be perfect parents but with such high standards it’s easy to feel like we are failures.
There are also so many ways to bring up our children, everyone has their own opinion and often they like to let you know that you’re not doing it right.
You have to remember, it’s just their opinion, how you want to bring up your child is your choice, don’t worry if you’re doing it differently from others.
Being a mom is part of who we are and when things go wrong we can often see this as being a direct link to our abilities and how capable we are.
Be fully present at work and at home. Feeling guilty is wasted energy and it will wear you down quicklyDawn Sandomeno
How To Lose The Mom Guilt
What’s Really Important to You and Your Kids?
Understanding what’s really important for you and your kids will help you let go of the things that are not.
For example, is playing with your kids more important than having a super tidy house? If so, plan more fun activities in your day and know that if the house is a bit messy, it’s because you have had so much fun!!
Make a list of all the things that bring you and your family more joy, make these a priority and let go of the rest.
Let go of What Others Think
Everyone has a different take on parenting and there is no real right way to do it. Every child is different and will need different things from you, so there is no real point in getting hung up on what others think.
What works for them may not work for you.
Next time someone gives you some unwanted advice, just thank them and let it go. It’s so much easier than trying to defend the way you are parenting.
Remember people often say something about your parenting if it’s different to there, not because they are right and you are wrong, but because they feel insecure about their choices.
So simply let it go!!
The Grass is Always Greener!
This is especially true with social media, it’s so easy to see pictures of other moms looking perfect but this is just a snapshot of their lives.
They aren’t going to post all their struggle and challenges on social media. Well they may some of the time but most of the time we paint a different picture on social media.
When I had my first child, 13 years ago, it was completely different to how it is now. We had no social media to compare ourselves to, the only time you would compare yourself is with family and friends (in REAL LIFE!!)
When I had my second child however, I was faced with DAILY images, opinion and updates of how other parents are doing and they always look like they were doing better than me.
I now know that this isn’t true and we all struggle as parents. Life isn’t as simple as an Instagram feed!!
I cannot stress this enough, if you don’t feel good and you’re stressed out, you will not be the calmest parent around.
You are more likely to snap and react in ways you don’t like if you are tired, worn out and are close to burn out.
Therefore self-care is so important to make sure you are functioning the best that you can. You can’t pour from an empty cup!!
I like to do thinks that help me feel calmer, such as Yoga, mindfulness, mediations and positive thinking.
When I feel good, I am a better parent to my kids!
See Yourself in Your Child’s Eyes
Your child loves you unconditionally and to them, you’re a supermom!! They see you completely different to how you see yourself.
In fact, they adore you and everything you do for them.
So next time your not feeling like a great mom, think about how your child sees you. Notice how they look up to you and the way they smile at you when you give them attention.
That’s all they really want from you….YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION.
Don’t worry if you don’t have time to make super healthy meals every day or you don’t have the money to buy the most popular toy right now, kids don’t hold on to these things forever!!
All our children want to feel is loved!
Let me know in the comments below if you have any other great tips on how to lose the mom guilt and remember you are doing your BEST!!
There will be so many times you feel like you’ve failed. But in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child you are a super mom.Stephanie Precourt